Path of searching

Mom, dad, I am coming home

Where is my home? Is it here, or back there where my parents live? All these year's travel confused me about my identity. One night, I had a dream when something happend and I had no one to turn to: Not a single friend, relatives, family member here in the entire states where I can turn to. Old friends back home drifted away, new friends in the wild wild west are not close enough. I was jogging the other day on coleman, it was dark, quiet. Then I saw this full window of orange lights in the foliage, it looked so bright, alone, out of nowhere, just like the light house off shore somewhere of some nameless pacific island, it is the only one who stands and believes someday, storm will come and it will guide some strangers back home to unify with their families. That was the window of my room: my study and bedroom, my only space deep in this wild wild west.

Here comes the Autumn, maybe orange is the color to make myself warmer, less alone. I had a few friends over, close friends. As we were chatting up, I scanned through everyone's face, who can be my real friend whom I can turn to when I need them the most?

Days after the party, I often ask myself the same questions over and over. It makes me appreciate friendship. QQ just went down to Tij to get his visa for visiting back home. How long have I been away from my aging Mom and Dad? What have I done for them since I was out in college? It's been more than 10 years that I remember I have ever lived with them. What do they look like now? Are there more white hair? Many of my childhood buddies are just becoming new parents, I can never forget the way they look at their new born babies. Everyone is living for something and looking for someone to complete that. Seeing all these people around me loving only leaves me sad. For how many time in my life, I looked out somewhere for love where the deepest love is one generation but one deep ocean away? Mom and Dad, I am coming home for you. It will be a surprise.

posted by Road less travelled @ 11:51 PM